As a Christian I should be able to handle it. I pray every day and read my Bible nightly. This shouldn't be a problem for me. Your faith must not be strong enough. This is why you are struggling.
These are all things my brain tells me daily as I struggle with anxiety. I realize that I try to do more than is humanly possible in a day. I realize that I am involved in way more than I can handle on my own. However, I believe that God has brought me to this place and involvement in these activities. I don't worry about these things constantly. I am, however, somewhat of a perfectionist and don't want to just do things. I want to do them well. I don't sit around and worry or have pity parties. I don't want to feel like I am spinning out of control. I don't want to be mean and spiteful because things aren't the way I think they should be. I don't want to wake up in the middle of the night feeling like something is sitting on my chest and I can't breath.This is not me. I am happy, energetic, funny, and outgoing!
Through prayer and quiet time that I have learned that this is not something I can help, but something that God will help me through. And yes, at this time that involves medication. I do not like taking medicine at all! However, at this time, it is what is best for me. God will see me through, but I have to do my part in taking care of my body. If taking medication is part of that, then that is what I will do.
I am so grateful that no matter what I am struggling with I can rely on God, my family, and my friends!
Someone who reads this may disagree. Someone who reads this may say "Hey that's me." Regardless. This is me.
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